Rager at Taj - (Posted in the NearSay Chelsea Nightlife Section)

This was a rager to end all ragers. I'm talking about three 4 Lokos and breaking up with your significant other rager. Full of bad intentions, mixed emotions, and impaired judgment. NearSay "blew the roof" off the "joint" and needless to say, it'll be talked about for the ages. Highlights below:

- Morgan was tearing that sign up desk apart. She was getting subscribers, smiling, and giving out raffle tickets. Simply inspired work and she was totes dominating.

- There was a doorwoman in attendance that had a passing resemblance to one Traz. Morgan and Traz disagreed, but the number in agreement was significantly higher.

- The Silver Fox was in attendance. But much like his MO, he elusively left the party without a word. JStahl also made appearance as well.

- Ned was being Ned, a true gentleman and definite party animal. I think this was his pre-game to another pre-game he was going to attend. No word on the actual game he was attending, or his pre-post-game or post-game plans.

- A wild Dubz was spotted sipping on a drink she likes to call "Ale on the Rocks". Simply pour Ginger Ale (slightly chilled) into a glass with ice. Add a straw, and enjoy.

- David W was the intern of the evening (aside from D$ and Marcela) and he mingled and rubbed elbows with NYC elite.

- Trevor was his usual self, and if he is thinking of changing professions, being a profession Emcee would not be a bad idea.

Last, but not least was what I did afterward. It was 100 percent right, and it felt even better after. I'm talking about Chipoltay. That's right, wonderful, delicious, Chipotle with D$. It was celebratory and we reminisced on those we have lost at NearSay. As the ole saying goes "NearSay, much like love, is a battlefield"

 

Share your memories below.

Gangsters love dogs too!

I knew that somewhere in this thug's heart there was a soft spot,

So it didn't surprise me that he took a picture with this mutt.

The photo sure looks cute and cuddly on the surface,

But check out 50's screen for his 'gatz' showcase!

I wonder if Fiddy would be friends with CoCo

Or if her obnoxiousness would drive him loco. 

Let's get Doug set up a play date with this baller celebrity,

I'm sure Traz won't be too shy to yell out "Whaddup Fifty!?!"

Ashton Kutcher - The smartest man alive

According to NearSay's newest best friend - the Ashton Kutcher - Robert Pattinson should win every award...ever.  It goes without saying that the Newsdesk is behind these claims 100%.

For more information on this breaking news, check out the video here thanks to our friends uptown at MTV.

Attn: Team

Saluggi's Fridays has a new brother. Porkchop Thursdays.

Moral of the story:
Pork = love

Chazz -the dog whi$perer

Heartfelt moment of the Day

Taken 09/10/10.

 

BREAKING NEWS: Bieber Fever hits NearSay Newsdesk

West Village - The first case of 'Bieber Fever' has hit the NearSay Newsdesk. Dub$ is violently ill with what appears to be a case of dreaded 'BF.' Dub$, usually a faithful intern, has missed the last two days due to a mysterious illness. While symptoms were noticed on Friday, the Fever was only diagnosed last last night. A neighbor who was on the scene stated, 'I knew it was bad when a huge poster of Bieber covered the entrance to her apartment, poor girl.'  Bieber's hits, including 'Baby' and 'One Time', could be heard coming from Dub$' quaint WV studio for the past 24 hours.

EMT's had to tear down the poster which blocked the entrance, causing Dub$ to become violent. She was later subdued and treated for dehydration. While Bieber Fever is known to be quite infectious, results show little trace of it at the NearSay headquarters.

Stay tuned for more of this breaking news story.

Our prayers go out to D$.

C$

Dawg of the Day: Jack

Jack is the newest addition to the dog pound. It was his first day on 2 September. Although his time in the office, he left a lasting impression.

Jack hails from California and is 16 years old. He was already friends with the den mother, and Tupelo and he got along famously. While these two large dogs brought plenty of life to the office, it wasn't until the littlest member of the pound made her entrance. Needless to say, things got interesting.

Jack and Coco got along like Edward and Bella. Maybe a little...too close. Considering it was the first date, Jack didn't want to take no for an answer. Luckily, cooler heads prevailed.

While Coco seemed outmatched against the larger Jack...it's as they say, it's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog.

NearSay NewsDesk will continue to update you, loyal readers, on all the happenings in the office.

C$

RPatz's force is one to be reckoned with...

Today I witnessed something truly magnificent and unlikely in any other part of NYC other than The Bronx. Two young men were doing pull-ups off of the traffic light pole... in the middle of a busy intersection. This took place at around 6 PM, and the entire time home I was left wondering two things:

1) How on earth did they get there? 

2) What on earth possessed them to do that?

So as you all know the drive back to the lonesome Island of Staten is quite long, therefore I had plenty of time to ponder, and suddenly it occurred to me! We all seem to do unlikely things, unexpectedly, hap-hazardously; it is a force within us to make these decisions, without looking back and giving it another thought. There must be a greater force than us out there on earth to lure us into these decisions... and I believe that force is RPatz (should we change that to RPat$?). 

How did the two boy-men/men-boys get up on the traffic pole without causing traffic or accidents? Maybe they were possessed with the quickness of RPatz in Twilight. I mean, we were all witnesses to how quickly he stopped the moving car from crashing his delicate little lamb, Bella, into pieces in the school yard. Naturally, these boys found the inspiration in him, knowing that if they set their mind to it, they can achieve it!

I guess this answers the question on what on earth possessed them to do that... it can be RPatz's quickness and stealth from Twilight... OR... it can be their need to never be forgotten! In Remember Me, our dearly beloved acted foolishly and on impulse, making his mark in the world with each step... all of this so when he died ever-so-tragically he'd be remembered. Perhaps these boys acquired inspiration from RPatz (especially since they looked like hooligans, and knowing RPatz's past with hip-hop trio band - he might have been their own idol). Considering that now there is a blog written about their late afternoon activities, they will indeed be remembered.

I think you all will agree with these theories, knowing how much RPatz affected our lives, and how his force brought us all together, syncing up our NewsDesk brains to the point of knowing what the blogs are without even checking them! But in case, in the very rare chance that RPatz's influence on this earth did not convince you on to why the boys were doing pull-ups at the traffic light... maybe this will. Maybe they didn't want to be Krissed! Krissing is dangerous and unwelcoming, but perhaps these boys knew that Kris would not be able to escape looking at them, also in confusion, like I and many others were.

 I wish I wasn't driving so I was able to take a photo of this glorious moment. In any case, whichever way you want to look at it... just make sure you know that if RPatz did pull ups on traffic lights, he would look like this...

Forever Yours,

KZ

In an alternate reality

Charle$

Why You Should Come To Work on Fridays

We binge on pizza and beer Coke.

We do arts and crafts.

  


We staple crap together.                                              

Random dogs come hang out.

So come to work on Friday, kittens. Miss you all. And save some of Chaz's girlfriend's free donuts for me.



Traz

What's for lunch?

I WISH!!!!

NearSayer escapes from Alcatraz unharmed

The Newsdesk has breaking news about a first-hand account with the city’s most feared Krisser, Alcatraz.  A NearSay writer was walking on Canal St. at approximately 6:12pm Thursday evening when the encounter occurred.  The writer, who would prefer to remain anonymous, released this statement following the incident, “I really thought that my worst nightmare was coming true - that this is it.  This is the day I have been dreading since I first moved to New York.  I’m about to get Krissed.  How will I recover?  How will I afford the rehabilitation and counseling?  What will I tell my friends about why I can no longer walk the streets alone?  I was so, so horrified.”

However, luck was on the writer's side that fateful evening.  Amongst the crowds of people, Brooklyn’s own Alcatraz quickly and stealthily maneuvered through the pedestrians.  The writer was so frightened that she became immobile – practically a sitting duck.  Alcatraz walked up to her, removed her headphones and began politely carrying on a conversation before continuing west on Canal.  The writer was shocked.  She was so thankful for her safety that she even considered indulging in some chicken nuggets with a side of sweet and sour sauce from the local McDonald’s.  When Alcatraz was contacted about the incident, she stated, “I even took my headphones out!  In your face Chaz and Chelz!”  The NearSay Newsdesk is relieved that no employees were emotionally traumatized, and even celebrated with a Saluggi’s pizza party hosted by Robert Pattinson. 

We are your number one source for all Traz related news, and will let you know as soon as another Krissing takes place.  Remember to be safe out there and always be prepared – you can get Krissed anywhere and at anytime.  Krissings do not discriminate.

Find out more information here on how to protect you and your loved ones from being Krissed.

'Suck It' is back & better than ever at NearSay!

I will take the honor to speak for all of the NearSay NewsDesk that we thank Chazz for bringin' back 'Suck It'

'Suck It' has recently been used in several situations, including Traz telling whiny restaurant patrons to 'suck it' if they whine about the $35 pre-fix menu.

Feel free to add the situations in which you were able to use this throwback term!

Breaking News:

Morning Musings

First things first... we all have talked about bed bugs and, to be honest, they seem kind of vilified. I mean..they are just doing the thing that they know best. Am I right? Anyway, I remember catching this some time ago and thanks goes to Gothamist for bringing it back. Isabella Rossellini, an amazing woman, has created this amazing series 'Green Porno.' You need to see it and in this clip, I think she gives us a startling new look at our uninvited guests.




- BTW, I'm totally glad we have yet to delve into Zac Efron.

What I learned on my summer vacation

It’s that time of year again – back to school!  I know that when I walk into the classroom on Monday sportin' a fresh new backpack filled with sharpened no. 2 pencils and crisp college-ruled notebooks, that I will be ready for every teacher’s favorite inquiry… “What did you do on your summer vacation?”

Teach, have I got some stories for you…

-       I spent the summer learning that it only takes a week of regular S Bucks visits in the morning for the staff to knowingly yell out “Venti-Iced-Green-Tea-Unsweetened-for-Stephanie” when you walk up to the counter.  Whether this is something I should be proud of or ashamed of is still up for debate – your thoughts on the matter are more than welcome.

-       Discovered the amazing culinary treat that is Saluggi’s Pizza.

-       Learned that because you either A) Walk out of a building with someone B) Make them laugh or C) Have them grab you a coffee while they are out in the blistering heat means that you must be dating.  Duh. 

-       Speaking of blistering heat, since when did Manhattan become a tropical island?

-       Bringing up the topic of fried food will undoubtedly lead to heated discussions over the merits of said fried food.  These discussions have been known to last for an absurdly long amount of time and can reach extremely high decibels.

-       The bathroom key belongs on the couch.  Always.

-       There wasn’t much money in the Heineken Bank.

-       No matter how many times he tries, Rev Sum has yet to make a garbage can shot without needing a slam-dunk rebound. 

-       “Stephanie Compromise.”  Enough said. 

-       Eater, Racked, and Curbed are God’s gift to the world wide web.  They can find news in the West Village when all hope is seemingly lost.  Amen.

-       There can never be too many jokes/discussions about Robert Pattinson.

-       Lindsay Lohan is still considered a good actress by some (shocking, I know), and Kesha deserves our respect (even more shocking, I know).  

-       Procrastination is the key to success.

Rivals at NearSay NewsDesk?

It has occurred to me that Dubz and I are technically rivals, well, if we were hip-hop superstars that is. For 'noobies' (probably Traz only) to the hip-hop culture of the 90's, this feud began basically over fans who followed West Coast rappers versus fans of East Coast rappers (aka 2Pac versus Biggie). 

Since I am a PC user, and Dubz clearly a Mac... I thought this was the most appropriate image to signify our relationship. As for other pictures are concerned, my opinion is that for our "official" NearSay NewsDesk photo-ops happ'nin next week, Dubz should throw up the 'W' for West and I should throw up the 'E' for East, this way it's never to be confused. 

In other news, Rachel Zoe tweeted about "Remember Me" yesterday, so for those who don't follow me on Twitter, here you go:

Did anyone see "Remember Me"? Loves RPatt even more now.. without vampire makeup! I have a teenage crush..so embarrassing! XoRZ

12:45 AM Aug 24th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

 I have a new found love and respect for that woman.


Till tomorrow!

What I learned today

What were some things you learned today?

We belong together

The Fat Monkey - Two slices of chocolate chip banana bread, with layers of Nutella, bananas, and marshmallow creme sandwiched in between, dipped in cake batter and deep-fried, then dipped in melted chocolate and rolled in toasted almonds and coconut.

Hey kids,

I was thinking about the best way to enjoy your weekly slumber-party and the answer was obvious! Well, two answers. Rob Pattinson and desserts!

Deep fried has been discussed, and while Traz may disagree, deep fried is the way to go. What's even better is that you can make these deep fried treats theme related! I plan on having a weekly recipe, hopefully we can have a NearSighting post about possible dishes.

In the world outside of RP and DF (I know...it is my reality too) we learned one important thing today. Note, you will be quizzed on this.

- The key to the woman's bathroom belongs on the couch.

End of discussion.

- I'm thinking of an open-style RP fan-story/script. We can each tackle a portion of it and watch it grow organically. Thoughts?

Random thought: I left the TV on one of the InDemand channels, and it has been one constant loop. Brendan Fraser screaming "Miley Cyrus!" from his latest terrible movie and what do you think comes up right after that? "The Last Song" starring Miley! Wow.

 - Chaz/C.Po

And the winner is...

Big day today for one happy NearSayer.  Morgan Brady has officially won the coveted Heineken Bank Challenge.  We are all very excited to see how she spends her big winnings at Dunkin' Donuts.

Congratulations Morgan! 

NewsDesk raves about Deep Fried Oreos!

While discussing the pros and cons of deep fried food, the NearSay NewsDesk was able to concur on Deep Fried Oreo, which spells C.R.A.C.K.

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Oh, that Karen Carpenter sure summed up days like today best.  Mondays + Rain = Epic sadness for all.  However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Something to brighten everyone's day and remind us that there is something (or someone) worth getting out of bed for every morning.  Something that reminds us that there is hope yet for humanity.  And yes, that person is Robert Pattinson.

As if the NearSayers need another reason to love R Pattz...he sings too (of course)!  Is there anything this man can't do?

Love Always,
Dubs

P.S.  Don't worry, I didn't forget about the Heineken Bank Challenge.  Tomorrow the results will finally be revealed!

The rain makes me long for RP

I will dearly miss everyone today, however, I will continue to think of RP throughout the day - hoping you all will feel my thoughts through his power. Him and I ran into each other this weekend, I must note that the photo might upset many coworkers and truer RP fans than I am. Unfortunately, we saw each other on the Upper West Side, so please do not use this as an opportunity for NearSighted, Traz & C.Po.

PS- we have competition: http://www.robsessedpattinson.com/ (I must admit, it is a clever twist on the word obsessed, how did the newsdesk not think of this first?!)

PPS- How much money was in the Heineken?

Sporky

Thinking of a dream I had

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb"- Edward Cullen (Twilight)

- Wondering what is Rob's opinion on the GZ mosque. He would be the guy to know.

- Looking at all the news made me realize how much is really going on. Sad I might miss something.

- Amazing RP interview. Way more in-depth. So bored of just baseless speculation.

- A rainy Monday makes you feel trapped on the inside. *Sad face*

- Was thinking of forming a band, creating a "Twi-core" genre. Maybe set up a concert series of Twilight inspired bands. Harry Potter has it, why not Twi?

- Who will be the first one in today? Money is on Chelsea.

- Do you realize how much change weighs? $35 dollars all in pennies weighs close to 22 pounds!

- This song...is like the complete expression of how thankful I am for RP. Just listen and enjoy.

Robert Pattinson Quote of the Day

Our fingerprints don't fade from the lives we touch. -Remember Me

Just a typical Friday at NearSay

what can we say? we work hard.