Why You Should Come To Work on Fridays

We binge on pizza and beer Coke.

We do arts and crafts.

  


We staple crap together.                                              

Random dogs come hang out.

So come to work on Friday, kittens. Miss you all. And save some of Chaz's girlfriend's free donuts for me.



Traz

What's for lunch?

I WISH!!!!

NearSayer escapes from Alcatraz unharmed

The Newsdesk has breaking news about a first-hand account with the city’s most feared Krisser, Alcatraz.  A NearSay writer was walking on Canal St. at approximately 6:12pm Thursday evening when the encounter occurred.  The writer, who would prefer to remain anonymous, released this statement following the incident, “I really thought that my worst nightmare was coming true - that this is it.  This is the day I have been dreading since I first moved to New York.  I’m about to get Krissed.  How will I recover?  How will I afford the rehabilitation and counseling?  What will I tell my friends about why I can no longer walk the streets alone?  I was so, so horrified.”

However, luck was on the writer's side that fateful evening.  Amongst the crowds of people, Brooklyn’s own Alcatraz quickly and stealthily maneuvered through the pedestrians.  The writer was so frightened that she became immobile – practically a sitting duck.  Alcatraz walked up to her, removed her headphones and began politely carrying on a conversation before continuing west on Canal.  The writer was shocked.  She was so thankful for her safety that she even considered indulging in some chicken nuggets with a side of sweet and sour sauce from the local McDonald’s.  When Alcatraz was contacted about the incident, she stated, “I even took my headphones out!  In your face Chaz and Chelz!”  The NearSay Newsdesk is relieved that no employees were emotionally traumatized, and even celebrated with a Saluggi’s pizza party hosted by Robert Pattinson. 

We are your number one source for all Traz related news, and will let you know as soon as another Krissing takes place.  Remember to be safe out there and always be prepared – you can get Krissed anywhere and at anytime.  Krissings do not discriminate.

Find out more information here on how to protect you and your loved ones from being Krissed.

'Suck It' is back & better than ever at NearSay!

I will take the honor to speak for all of the NearSay NewsDesk that we thank Chazz for bringin' back 'Suck It'

'Suck It' has recently been used in several situations, including Traz telling whiny restaurant patrons to 'suck it' if they whine about the $35 pre-fix menu.

Feel free to add the situations in which you were able to use this throwback term!

Breaking News:

Morning Musings

First things first... we all have talked about bed bugs and, to be honest, they seem kind of vilified. I mean..they are just doing the thing that they know best. Am I right? Anyway, I remember catching this some time ago and thanks goes to Gothamist for bringing it back. Isabella Rossellini, an amazing woman, has created this amazing series 'Green Porno.' You need to see it and in this clip, I think she gives us a startling new look at our uninvited guests.




- BTW, I'm totally glad we have yet to delve into Zac Efron.

What I learned on my summer vacation

It’s that time of year again – back to school!  I know that when I walk into the classroom on Monday sportin' a fresh new backpack filled with sharpened no. 2 pencils and crisp college-ruled notebooks, that I will be ready for every teacher’s favorite inquiry… “What did you do on your summer vacation?”

Teach, have I got some stories for you…

-       I spent the summer learning that it only takes a week of regular S Bucks visits in the morning for the staff to knowingly yell out “Venti-Iced-Green-Tea-Unsweetened-for-Stephanie” when you walk up to the counter.  Whether this is something I should be proud of or ashamed of is still up for debate – your thoughts on the matter are more than welcome.

-       Discovered the amazing culinary treat that is Saluggi’s Pizza.

-       Learned that because you either A) Walk out of a building with someone B) Make them laugh or C) Have them grab you a coffee while they are out in the blistering heat means that you must be dating.  Duh. 

-       Speaking of blistering heat, since when did Manhattan become a tropical island?

-       Bringing up the topic of fried food will undoubtedly lead to heated discussions over the merits of said fried food.  These discussions have been known to last for an absurdly long amount of time and can reach extremely high decibels.

-       The bathroom key belongs on the couch.  Always.

-       There wasn’t much money in the Heineken Bank.

-       No matter how many times he tries, Rev Sum has yet to make a garbage can shot without needing a slam-dunk rebound. 

-       “Stephanie Compromise.”  Enough said. 

-       Eater, Racked, and Curbed are God’s gift to the world wide web.  They can find news in the West Village when all hope is seemingly lost.  Amen.

-       There can never be too many jokes/discussions about Robert Pattinson.

-       Lindsay Lohan is still considered a good actress by some (shocking, I know), and Kesha deserves our respect (even more shocking, I know).  

-       Procrastination is the key to success.

Rivals at NearSay NewsDesk?

It has occurred to me that Dubz and I are technically rivals, well, if we were hip-hop superstars that is. For 'noobies' (probably Traz only) to the hip-hop culture of the 90's, this feud began basically over fans who followed West Coast rappers versus fans of East Coast rappers (aka 2Pac versus Biggie). 

Since I am a PC user, and Dubz clearly a Mac... I thought this was the most appropriate image to signify our relationship. As for other pictures are concerned, my opinion is that for our "official" NearSay NewsDesk photo-ops happ'nin next week, Dubz should throw up the 'W' for West and I should throw up the 'E' for East, this way it's never to be confused. 

In other news, Rachel Zoe tweeted about "Remember Me" yesterday, so for those who don't follow me on Twitter, here you go:

Did anyone see "Remember Me"? Loves RPatt even more now.. without vampire makeup! I have a teenage crush..so embarrassing! XoRZ

12:45 AM Aug 24th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

 I have a new found love and respect for that woman.


Till tomorrow!

What I learned today

What were some things you learned today?

We belong together

The Fat Monkey - Two slices of chocolate chip banana bread, with layers of Nutella, bananas, and marshmallow creme sandwiched in between, dipped in cake batter and deep-fried, then dipped in melted chocolate and rolled in toasted almonds and coconut.

Hey kids,

I was thinking about the best way to enjoy your weekly slumber-party and the answer was obvious! Well, two answers. Rob Pattinson and desserts!

Deep fried has been discussed, and while Traz may disagree, deep fried is the way to go. What's even better is that you can make these deep fried treats theme related! I plan on having a weekly recipe, hopefully we can have a NearSighting post about possible dishes.

In the world outside of RP and DF (I know...it is my reality too) we learned one important thing today. Note, you will be quizzed on this.

- The key to the woman's bathroom belongs on the couch.

End of discussion.

- I'm thinking of an open-style RP fan-story/script. We can each tackle a portion of it and watch it grow organically. Thoughts?

Random thought: I left the TV on one of the InDemand channels, and it has been one constant loop. Brendan Fraser screaming "Miley Cyrus!" from his latest terrible movie and what do you think comes up right after that? "The Last Song" starring Miley! Wow.

 - Chaz/C.Po

And the winner is...

Big day today for one happy NearSayer.  Morgan Brady has officially won the coveted Heineken Bank Challenge.  We are all very excited to see how she spends her big winnings at Dunkin' Donuts.

Congratulations Morgan! 

NewsDesk raves about Deep Fried Oreos!

While discussing the pros and cons of deep fried food, the NearSay NewsDesk was able to concur on Deep Fried Oreo, which spells C.R.A.C.K.

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Oh, that Karen Carpenter sure summed up days like today best.  Mondays + Rain = Epic sadness for all.  However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Something to brighten everyone's day and remind us that there is something (or someone) worth getting out of bed for every morning.  Something that reminds us that there is hope yet for humanity.  And yes, that person is Robert Pattinson.

As if the NearSayers need another reason to love R Pattz...he sings too (of course)!  Is there anything this man can't do?

Love Always,
Dubs

P.S.  Don't worry, I didn't forget about the Heineken Bank Challenge.  Tomorrow the results will finally be revealed!

The rain makes me long for RP

I will dearly miss everyone today, however, I will continue to think of RP throughout the day - hoping you all will feel my thoughts through his power. Him and I ran into each other this weekend, I must note that the photo might upset many coworkers and truer RP fans than I am. Unfortunately, we saw each other on the Upper West Side, so please do not use this as an opportunity for NearSighted, Traz & C.Po.

PS- we have competition: http://www.robsessedpattinson.com/ (I must admit, it is a clever twist on the word obsessed, how did the newsdesk not think of this first?!)

PPS- How much money was in the Heineken?

Sporky

Thinking of a dream I had

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb"- Edward Cullen (Twilight)

- Wondering what is Rob's opinion on the GZ mosque. He would be the guy to know.

- Looking at all the news made me realize how much is really going on. Sad I might miss something.

- Amazing RP interview. Way more in-depth. So bored of just baseless speculation.

- A rainy Monday makes you feel trapped on the inside. *Sad face*

- Was thinking of forming a band, creating a "Twi-core" genre. Maybe set up a concert series of Twilight inspired bands. Harry Potter has it, why not Twi?

- Who will be the first one in today? Money is on Chelsea.

- Do you realize how much change weighs? $35 dollars all in pennies weighs close to 22 pounds!

- This song...is like the complete expression of how thankful I am for RP. Just listen and enjoy.

Robert Pattinson Quote of the Day

Our fingerprints don't fade from the lives we touch. -Remember Me

Just a typical Friday at NearSay

what can we say? we work hard.