Why You Should Come To Work on Fridays

We binge on pizza and beer Coke.

We do arts and crafts.

  


We staple crap together.                                              

Random dogs come hang out.

So come to work on Friday, kittens. Miss you all. And save some of Chaz's girlfriend's free donuts for me.



Traz

What's for lunch?

I WISH!!!!

NearSayer escapes from Alcatraz unharmed

The Newsdesk has breaking news about a first-hand account with the city’s most feared Krisser, Alcatraz.  A NearSay writer was walking on Canal St. at approximately 6:12pm Thursday evening when the encounter occurred.  The writer, who would prefer to remain anonymous, released this statement following the incident, “I really thought that my worst nightmare was coming true - that this is it.  This is the day I have been dreading since I first moved to New York.  I’m about to get Krissed.  How will I recover?  How will I afford the rehabilitation and counseling?  What will I tell my friends about why I can no longer walk the streets alone?  I was so, so horrified.”

However, luck was on the writer's side that fateful evening.  Amongst the crowds of people, Brooklyn’s own Alcatraz quickly and stealthily maneuvered through the pedestrians.  The writer was so frightened that she became immobile – practically a sitting duck.  Alcatraz walked up to her, removed her headphones and began politely carrying on a conversation before continuing west on Canal.  The writer was shocked.  She was so thankful for her safety that she even considered indulging in some chicken nuggets with a side of sweet and sour sauce from the local McDonald’s.  When Alcatraz was contacted about the incident, she stated, “I even took my headphones out!  In your face Chaz and Chelz!”  The NearSay Newsdesk is relieved that no employees were emotionally traumatized, and even celebrated with a Saluggi’s pizza party hosted by Robert Pattinson. 

We are your number one source for all Traz related news, and will let you know as soon as another Krissing takes place.  Remember to be safe out there and always be prepared – you can get Krissed anywhere and at anytime.  Krissings do not discriminate.

Find out more information here on how to protect you and your loved ones from being Krissed.

'Suck It' is back & better than ever at NearSay!

I will take the honor to speak for all of the NearSay NewsDesk that we thank Chazz for bringin' back 'Suck It'

'Suck It' has recently been used in several situations, including Traz telling whiny restaurant patrons to 'suck it' if they whine about the $35 pre-fix menu.

Feel free to add the situations in which you were able to use this throwback term!

Breaking News:

Morning Musings

First things first... we all have talked about bed bugs and, to be honest, they seem kind of vilified. I mean..they are just doing the thing that they know best. Am I right? Anyway, I remember catching this some time ago and thanks goes to Gothamist for bringing it back. Isabella Rossellini, an amazing woman, has created this amazing series 'Green Porno.' You need to see it and in this clip, I think she gives us a startling new look at our uninvited guests.




- BTW, I'm totally glad we have yet to delve into Zac Efron.

What I learned on my summer vacation

It’s that time of year again – back to school!  I know that when I walk into the classroom on Monday sportin' a fresh new backpack filled with sharpened no. 2 pencils and crisp college-ruled notebooks, that I will be ready for every teacher’s favorite inquiry… “What did you do on your summer vacation?”

Teach, have I got some stories for you…

-       I spent the summer learning that it only takes a week of regular S Bucks visits in the morning for the staff to knowingly yell out “Venti-Iced-Green-Tea-Unsweetened-for-Stephanie” when you walk up to the counter.  Whether this is something I should be proud of or ashamed of is still up for debate – your thoughts on the matter are more than welcome.

-       Discovered the amazing culinary treat that is Saluggi’s Pizza.

-       Learned that because you either A) Walk out of a building with someone B) Make them laugh or C) Have them grab you a coffee while they are out in the blistering heat means that you must be dating.  Duh. 

-       Speaking of blistering heat, since when did Manhattan become a tropical island?

-       Bringing up the topic of fried food will undoubtedly lead to heated discussions over the merits of said fried food.  These discussions have been known to last for an absurdly long amount of time and can reach extremely high decibels.

-       The bathroom key belongs on the couch.  Always.

-       There wasn’t much money in the Heineken Bank.

-       No matter how many times he tries, Rev Sum has yet to make a garbage can shot without needing a slam-dunk rebound. 

-       “Stephanie Compromise.”  Enough said. 

-       Eater, Racked, and Curbed are God’s gift to the world wide web.  They can find news in the West Village when all hope is seemingly lost.  Amen.

-       There can never be too many jokes/discussions about Robert Pattinson.

-       Lindsay Lohan is still considered a good actress by some (shocking, I know), and Kesha deserves our respect (even more shocking, I know).  

-       Procrastination is the key to success.

Rivals at NearSay NewsDesk?

It has occurred to me that Dubz and I are technically rivals, well, if we were hip-hop superstars that is. For 'noobies' (probably Traz only) to the hip-hop culture of the 90's, this feud began basically over fans who followed West Coast rappers versus fans of East Coast rappers (aka 2Pac versus Biggie). 

Since I am a PC user, and Dubz clearly a Mac... I thought this was the most appropriate image to signify our relationship. As for other pictures are concerned, my opinion is that for our "official" NearSay NewsDesk photo-ops happ'nin next week, Dubz should throw up the 'W' for West and I should throw up the 'E' for East, this way it's never to be confused. 

In other news, Rachel Zoe tweeted about "Remember Me" yesterday, so for those who don't follow me on Twitter, here you go:

Did anyone see "Remember Me"? Loves RPatt even more now.. without vampire makeup! I have a teenage crush..so embarrassing! XoRZ

12:45 AM Aug 24th via Twitter for BlackBerry®

 I have a new found love and respect for that woman.


Till tomorrow!